The · Beginning · of · the · End

You walk on like a woman in suffering
Won't even bother now to tell me why
You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
Leaving me broken another time
You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
Leave me alone, let me be this time
You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know

That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run

You don't know what your power has done to me
I want to know if I'll heal inside
I can't go on with a holocaust about to happen
Seeing you laughing another time
You'll never know how your face has haunted me
My very soul has to bleed this time
Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses
Leaving me breathless, the reason I know

That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run

Into the abyss will I run

You walk on like a woman in suffering
Won't even bother now to tell me why
You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment
Leaving me broken another time
You come on like a bloodstained hurricane
Leave me alone, let me be this time
You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption
I don't want to mention, the reason I know

That I am stricken and can't let you go
When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know
That I am crippled by all that you've done
Into the abyss will I run

Into the abyss will I run
I can't let you go
Yes I am stricken and can't let you go

Its weird. Before this past weekend, I wasn't looking forward to Drakon. Its not that I didn't want to go or anything, I just... wasn't as excited as I normally am. Now, I just got back and Drakon's in about a week, and I'm dying I want to play so badly. Heh. I think it has to do with Thornly and Rick's new character and the team... yeah. She's got a purpose again. Yay for Nyssa. :-)

Plus, I'd like to think I'm kissing up to making a good impression with Lady Minos. Better than her marquis, at least. She keeps telling Kharg his opinions are wrong (except in a nicer way), and she's joking with us about Ed, and she keeps smiling and agreeing with me. Yeah, I'm getting in good with the Minos again. Its not that I'm actively trying to get my nobility back - Nyssa seriously has more fun as a commoner - but it would be nice to get respect from the nobles back. Its an issue of pride - Nyssa will always know she's noble at heart, because with all her mistakes, she does them because she truly thinks its the right thing to do - plus, the blood in her veins is noble Minos blood. But her pride... its hurt, lately. She's one of the oldest members of town, and yet while everyone else is getting marquied, she's sitting at the commoner table. Its not like she doesn't like being a commoner - she prefers it, truth be told. But... she doesn't like being looked down upon. And I suppose that comes from me, not like being looked down upon. It all comes down to pride. Nyssa would like to think she looks good in the eyes of the Lords and Ladies of her house, if nothing else. If I don't get my nobility back, its not a big deal - as long as I make a good impression with Lord Marcus (whom I miss, Pat - ahem) and Lady Jaquin. Although, if the title were offered to me again, I wouldn't say no.

This past weekend was interesting, though, to say the least. We only had about a handful of shit to kill, which is always sad. I mentioned that in my survey though, so hopefully we'll have more stuff next weekend. This past event was P.O.L.I.T.I.C.A.L. Like whoa. The entire society changed in the blink of an eye - Rick and I left Freeport, and came back to BBN, from what we've been told. Although, I like the court setup, and the idea of reparations and grievances. Its an easy and effective way to solve a lot of problems. What I don't like is how commoners 1) have to belong to a certain house, and get the responsibilities of said house without the perk of nobility, and 2) are practically branded by said house. All commoners have to wear an armband with the colors of their house. Um, can anyone say WWII Europe? Yellow Stars of David? Yeah. Not too happy with my "slave band", as Gran-otik put it. Heh. But its simple enough to get around - Nyssa refuses to wear hers. :-)

Aside from the political plot, there wasn't much else going on. We got invaded by a group of canoi, looking for something called the "heartstone". I had no idea what was going on, while it was going on. I was just healing people when the canoi silenced them, and following Thornly around. And I guess, Nadia's still on her true faith quest, and people keep getting dragged into that. But aside from that, I'm pretty sure that's all the plot that was happening, unless I'm missing personal plot, which is entirely possible. After all, Nyssa had some personal plot herself. ;-)

Speaking of. Nyssa's got some new friends. I mean, we were friends before, but now we're a lot closer - as in, Nyssa's joined a new team. I believe they call themselves the Shadows of Freeport - I call them Thornly and the Trio, because Thornly calls them the Trio. Yep, Nyssa's now a part of Thornly, Dacholas, Lithian, and Gran-otik. :-) They're awesome guys, both in and out of game. And Rick is bringing in his canoi, so he'll be joining us too. It'll be cool. I'm really looking forward to it. They're moving into my cabin, because it can be arranged better than theirs, even though mine is smaller.

I'm also looking forward to the next event for a different reason... Vince, if you can believe it. He flirted with Nyssa as Esau, but only really on the forums. Now, he's doing it again (except times, like, ten) with Rix, and I'm interested to see if he keeps it up once we get to Drakon. RPing something on the forums is one thing; its a testament to a person's skill if they keep it up in person, and I'd like to see him do just that, even though Nyssa's creeped out by him.

Plus, I'll admit it - I want to see a troll rip a man limb from limb. :-) I know, I'm twisted. I've been spending too much time with Thornly.

Or... have I? heh heh

Now that I'm running the church, I need to come up with some stories to be read, and I need to work on sermons. I get Berwick's job, and I always took it for granted before. I mean, I'm sure I'll be fine when it comes to the sermon part - in fact, I already know pretty much what I'm going to say. Its the waxing of Tir, and Tir stands for strength, but also for compassion, and we'll need both to get past this Pnemox problem.

The problem I'm having is writing a story to be read during mass. I had an idea or two, but they both suck. I need ideas, I need help. I really want to write new stories, because the ones Kevin had were starting to get reused, and people noticed. Plus, Kevin says its a good idea for me to write my own stories - and its not like I can't or anything. But the problem is, I can't. I can't think of a good story with a moral... hmph. I have a month to get this done, make grave markers for everyone who died, accomplish the rest of the stuff on my list, and I still haven't heard back from Baron Ulysses about whether or not I can bury Brendan in Freeport. ANSWER, DANKO!!! lol

I had a Drakon dream last night. In the beginning, they were hunting for Amethyst, and then I was down the road a bit to Merios with Joe, and he had a white headband tied around his head, telling me they had put Kenyu in a box and then hid it out in the woods somewhere, and he knew where it was and was going to bring Kenyu back, and then after that, we were all in the field but I don't remember why - I think there was an evil guy there that we were fighting with.

Strange dream. And even stranger, most of it occurred in Drakon at one point or another. :-)

(and I'm just glad for an excuse to use the Nyssa and Kenyu icon again)

I will not be retiring her - not during the 4-day like I planned, at least. Brother Berwick came to her in a dream and told her he's passing on the church to her, pretty much. He said he didn't know who else to go to, and that he has faith in her. Yay. Here's the dream below.

( Finally some recognition! )


So now, Nyssa has some things to take care of.

Nyssa's To Do List

• arrange for new grave markers for everyone that has passed
  
• reorganize the church council
  
• start working on sermons and stories for sunday masses
  
• track down the survivors of the Rise of Pnemox (last year) and get all the details they remember
  
• talk to Chase...
  
• maybe talk to Raina, if she ever comes back to Freeport
  
• track down some canoi, see if any traditions or stories have been passed down since the first time they locked Pnemox away - worth a shot
  
• talk to Daki and Dalric about other holy libraries, now that Minthar is destroyed
  
• talk to Abigale; maybe I can look through her books


I'm sure more will be added, as well.

I don't want to ramble too much about her history in my other journal, because I ramble enough about her in real life. But this journal is made specifically for this purpose, so ramble I will!

---

I've finally finished. ::breathes a sigh of relief:: Of course, I'm not done yet though. I'm treating this history like a real short story - possibly because I want to turn it into one. Whenever I play Aradia, in character, for whatever reason, I'm going to write down in this journal exactly what happened while I was playing her. Her story will be told!

When I turn it into a short story, also, I will de-Drakon-ify it, so it can be read by the general public. The concept will be the same - medieval era, fantasy based - but I'll change the names, and some of the world structure.

Anyway... the final result is 23 pages. :-) I'm thinking of maybe writing staff a shorter version, maybe list some of Lancer and Aradia's adventures rather than write them out. (The tree MUST stay in, however. Its what defines their relationship. lol) Perhaps editing the Cassian Mountain adventure? So we screwed with Maple. Big deal. LOL – I love Wallace.

I really can’t help the fact that its so long, however. She was fifteen when she left home. She spent three years on the open sea. She meets Lancer when she’s 19, and spends ten years with him. That’s a lot of history to account for! Even if I take out the part about her mom, and the legend, and all, it would still be between fifteen and twenty pages. >: - ) What can I say? I’m a writer. ::sends a silent prayer to Maryanne Farrell, thanking her::

… wow. Ten years with Lancer. No wonder why they bicker so much. Look at how much sexual tension can build after ten years, especially with Lancer, who’s known he’s been in love with her since he met her. Geez! Lol

Anyway. I’m thinking of sending it to Mandi, asking her to beta it for me. I’ve talked to her about Drakon enough, and she knows the renaissance era enough, she might be able to follow. Sometimes (well, a lot of the time) I wish she still lived up here. She would ADORE Drakon.

Anyway. For the third time. Without further ado, I present to the world – Aradia Jackson, History, Version 1.0

( Once upon a time )

I had a dream the other night that we were playing Drakon in my old old neighborhood in Nashua, where my Memere and Pepere live, except there were lots more trees, and we were playing in the apartments in the area as well as outside. It was as if the buildings in that neighborhood had been dropped into the woods in Goshen. Everyone was there, and because people always complain about the Hunters Guild, and how its only Pat's canoi and why do we let them screw us over, all of staff decided to play roles in the Hunters Guild. Except for some reason, Hillary was dressed as Razia. ;-) Anyway, we're all running around and stuff, and I think in my dream I got there late again - go figure. But I get there and the ENTIRE town, including all of the Hunters Guild, is chasing some creature which I never see. But I get there, and I'm talking to Jess Marshall who stops playing to see me, and I decide that I'm done playing Nyssa completely and I'm retiring her, and I start putting on a costume for Aradia, except it was a black skirt with a purple wrap, and a black and purple top. (Xelyos? But she's a Charos!) So I get dressed and I'm just walking around, watching everyone play and sort of laughing at them, and I note that its strange to play Aradia without Lancer - because Rhyan's nowhere to be found, and even so he's probably still playing his gnome. And then I take my boots off and put them behind a tree, and the entire Hunter's Guild comes up behind me like they want to attack me, but I put my hand up to my forehead as if I'm out of game because I'm trying to find a safe OOG spot for my boots, and Hillary, in the front dressed as Razia but playing a member of the Hunters Guild, screams "damn it!" and falls backwards. And then they all walk away, and we proceed to play and I just explore around, and I'm in this one room apartment with cushions and blankets on the floor and from one door in walks Jay, and in from the other door walks a taller version of Pat (coz he isn't tall enough?) and they start to advance on me - but I don't remember what happens next. I think I might have woken up.

Weird?